MARKETING | CUSSING

Sometimes I Read Stuff That Sucks (On Purpose)

This sucks. (Photo by Brian Yurasits on Unsplash)

It’s True

Sometimes I read stuff that sucks. The degree to which a writer can suck is entertaining and informative.

Mostly, though, it’s entertaining.

Who doesn’t like a shitshow? (I think that’s a direct quote from the guy who filmed 2 Girls 1 Cup. But I could be mistaken.)

Take This For Example

Take what I did JUST NOW for example.

JUST NOW I saw a new post from I.SUCK.AT.MARKETING, a self-described marketing expert who says dumb shit like “Sweating like a pig” and “Why doesn’t anyone read my stuff? C’mon now, I’m an expert” and “Bitches ain’t shit (but they still take them): How I made $200,000 doing my marketing thang.”

See? Dumb shit.

I saw I.SUCK.AT.MARKETING had a new post. And I clicked on it. The post was:

· Self-absorbed

· Boring

It’s self-absorbed and boring. But I think the degree of suckiness is entertaining.

Sure, there’s grammar and shit. Everybody needs grammar and shit. And there’s a point and all that. (We all need a point and all that.)

But substance? Psssh. Not a drop.

Value? Do I think it added any value to me?

Not really, aside from being marginally entertained by the suckiness.

Everybody needs grammar and shit.

What Gets Me

What gets me is, on top of all this marketing hoo-ha, is a CTA that says “How You Can Help Me.”

Pardon?

Help you?

Why would I want to help you?

You’re in marketing, numbnuts. Marketing is about helping other people.

In Any Event

Yeah, sometimes I read people for the suckage. But that doesn’t mean I’ll keep reading for the suckage.

This is life, son. And the one thing I don’t want to do is waste time on suckage. Not when we’re all on a journey to the gurney.

Swivels in, Swivels out.