Bleeding from a Buttload of Bills
I love one-liners.
Whether it’s stand-up, movie dialogue, or lines from a book, one-liners reign supreme.
I’m also a big fan of non-sequiturs. They’re hilarious.
In stand-up, I enjoy fitting in as much as I possibly can in as short of time as I possibly can, giving everything only enough room as necessary. I’m not perfect and still getting better at this, but it is my favorite thing to do.
My sets are not comprised entirely of this, but a lot of them are. I find it to be a more difficult approach to comedy rather than simply telling a story or sticking to the usual three-beat rule. Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg are masters of this arena.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?
- Mitch Hedberg
I have a song called “Bills.” I wrote it last winter.
It’s tons of fun to sing, and TONS of fun to see people dancing and clapping to it. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.
But here’s the thing. I enjoy doing things without any introduction, any context, and any explanation.
That is not always the best way to go.
I pulled this sucker out and went right into it at an open mic. The words are coming out soon in a release called Bad Sheet, so for now I’ll only give you the refrain:
I’m getting fucked in the ass and I’m bleeding
- Swivels
Like I said, the song is called “Bills.” It lasts about a minute and twelve seconds. In the middle of the song the meaning behind “getting fucked in the ass and bleeding” is revealed to be debt.
But at this particular open mic, I don’t think they picked up on that.
Most of the audience looked stunned and unsure. Some were concerned. I got laughs and claps, but not from the majority. And when the MC came on after me, he said something about using water-based lube to keep from bleeding.
The consensus seemed to be: I just sang about getting pegged.
And the thing is, when your time’s up, it’s up.
All this to say, sometimes a little bit of context and a short introduction can go a long way.
Swivels in, Swivels out.
