9 Things to Tell Your Therapist
Real Good. Real Advice.
You need a therapist. And if you’re going to have a therapist, you need to say stuff to them.
So rather than getting nervous, try these 9 helpful suggestions.*
1. Wait a minute. You mean it’s PREscription, not PERscription? You mean we’re thinking ahead with this stuff?!
2. I wouldn’t say paranoid schizophrenic. I’d go with something like CONFIDENT schizophrenic. (Hey doc, make sure my paperwork reflects that.)
3. Let’s just say … I tickled her cerebral hemispheres.
4. Gaslighting? No, I take Beano. And even if that failed, I would never use a lighter.
5. I believe the clinical term is “delulu.”
6. Cognition? No no no, I put them in the IGnition.
7. CBT? My bad, I thought you said CBD. (CBT = Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBD = Cannabidiol. Vurrrrry different.)
8. You know what rhymes with medication? Dedication. And that’s exactly how I’m gonna be with these pills.
9. Thank you, Doc!
· Swivels is not responsible for any consequences.
Swivels in, Swivels out.
