10 Things Better than the News

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

If you’re anything like me, you hate the phrase “If you’re anything like me” … but you still say it anyway.

And if you’re anything like me, you think the news is a big straw.

It sucks.

Here are 10 things to do instead:

1. Watch ants fuck.

2. Write a blog about ants fucking.

3. Turn that blog into a podcast … about ants fucking. Call it “Ants Fucking!”

4. Go to a bus stop and sit there for a long time.

5. Wear a big hat and do it in the rain.

6. Mumble things like “The media took my lunch money.”

7. Pick your nose.

8. Pick someone else’s nose.

9. Get ready for someone to make a call.

10. When the police arrive, look at the ground. Say one thing and one thing only: “Fuckin ants.”

Hey buddy, you can do this.